he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
