let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize