And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
