His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
