accomplished twins. life is a go
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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