no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
