All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Even my vagina gasped.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
