at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
