Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
