she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
