Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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