the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
