I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
