If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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