how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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