i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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