i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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