just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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