Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
