i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
