I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
