I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
