dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
