You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
