Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Hippo gnu deer
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
did i just pee glitter
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
