i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
