Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize