We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
