I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
