i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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