Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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