I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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