in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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