Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You're a waste of cheezeits
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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