Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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