Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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