If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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