There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
