We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
