Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize