oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
