What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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