I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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