I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Enjoy the penises
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
