I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I would fuck him just for his dog
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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