We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
