I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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