I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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