i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
