I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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