I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
