i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
