i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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