Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
