we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My ass is underappreciated
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
