I must be too annoying 4 u.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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