can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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