wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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