chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
