I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Are we still banned from the library?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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