I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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