you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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