where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
