Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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