I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
