he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
