Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
