I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
