I've blown a few things in my day
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
