I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just want nice things and good sex
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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