so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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