the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize