do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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