i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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