Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
