There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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