Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
