TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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