yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize